With this ring I thee wed... (as long as you banish your exes!)

A few weeks ago, I overheard a young and obviously newly-wed couple talking about facebook. The husband, Alan, was gently but firmly assuring his wife that he had not 'added' his ex to his page and therefore should not be held accountable for anything she posted on his page. His wife, Emma, dutifully replied that not only was it his responsibility to veto each post made on his wall, but that he should also remove his ex from his 'friends', as this would prove his love and devotion to her.

I laughed as I imagined just what kind of couple they would become in 20, 40 or even 60 years. But my laugh became a smile and my smile, a grimace as I realised that there was a real issue at hand - who was in fact, right and would they ever come to a conclusion?!? Was it right for Emma to expect that, with her wedding ring, she would also have the right to exclude parts of her husband's past as she wished? Or, was he right in thinking that as long as he was not the instigator of the renewed 'friendship', it was fine to have old exes 'find' him, at the cost of his new wife's sanity?

I needed answers, so at my monthly 'girl’s night out', I asked a few of my girlfriends the question and not surprisingly, they stated that they 'would be extremely uncomfortable with their partners being in touch with their exes', an answer I expected. I followed up with the question I knew they all dreaded, 'Did that mean that they did not trust their partners?'. The answers were as varied as the ocean is deep, but with a common theme of exasperation at my brazenness. 'How could I dare link the two?', 'It's not that they did not trust HIM, they did not trust HER'. I ran like the wind to get out of there... Proverbial bullet-proof vest or not, they were acting like women scorned and they had not even met Alan!

After that, I was no closer to finding the solution that would put my mind at rest. But instead of risking life and limb again, I decided to look closer to home - I asked myself 'What would I do in that position?' I weighed up whether my marriage was more likely to break-down because of my lack of trust or, because of an ex that was probably less of a threat to me, than I was to the staff in Next, during the mid-season sale! My mind ran back over the employee that nearly lost a finger during a 5am stampede and my question was answered. Not only did these women not trust their men enough, but they could not even admit their own insecurities.

Secure in my thinking that I had the answer all women needed, I wished that I could find Emma and tell her to let it go, but in a lucid moment, I knew that she and Alan would be long gone. I decided it was just as well as I am sure that the advice of a random, looney stranger that had been eavesdropping on a lovers tiff, was the last thing they would have welcomed.

I took a deep breath and moved on to what was to be the bain of my life for the next few days - could I really expect 100% of the compensation as promised on the Claims Direct advert? My mission was set. I fired up the laptop 'Dear Claims Direct....'.


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