WHY OH WHY OH WHY is this man's derriere in my face.... This morning I hope-upon-hope that this is the day when manners are second-nature to my fellow Bakerloo Line commuters...... Urgh! He just sneezed on my shoulder! Sigh, alas my hopes are dashed - manners must have caught an earlier train.
This train is packed. If I karate-kick the sneezer very hard, can make it out of Maida Vale Station before they figure out that the rude man has not just fallen asleep, but has actually been assaulted by a do-gooder? Hmmmmm, my right shoulder suddenly feels very heavy. Oh, it must be my conscience warding off the bad thoughts. Oh well, no worry. If I tried, I would only lose my seat and in rush hour, my seat is my life. If I was standing up, like her in the corner, being squashed in the side by a pregnant man and squashed in the back by a pensioner with obvious OCD, I think this may just be the morning that I do something 'silly'!
My conversation with my friend opposite is strained, as the suited and booted gentleman is anything but gentle with his huge bag swinging violently close to my head. I am sure everybody on this train is out to get me! What did I do to deserve this?!? I know it's because I look like I'm polite. My theory is that the more polite you are, the ruder people become.
*Sigh*
Ahhh, a Metro! Now how do I grab it without losing my seat! Using my eyes, I signal to my friend calling attention to the paper but just as I do, old smelly over there reaches over my friends head, armpits exposed nonetheless, and grabs the very thing that would have kept me sane for the next eights stops.
I see stars! Bag man has knocked me out during his rush to be first off the train at Paddington. The embarrassment will subside, but will my fear of travelling on the tube, after this!?! The knock wasn't so bad, I am more bothered about the fact that my hair got attached to the bag's cheap Velcro fastener and I too ended up at the door. I lean on the door as the train tries to pull away. The doors open once more. 'I know it's crowded back there but if you would kindly not lean on the door, we'll be on our way'. The train drivers announcement calls attention to me. I feel as if the whole carriage is glaring my way...
My friend is nowhere to be seen as the sea of people engulf me. My seat long gone, I stand at the door, bruised and tired. The doors close.... The pregnant man that now squashes me from behind, yawns loudly, I feel the breeze of it brush swiftly against my neck. I try to scream but by now the dizziness has taken hold and I just want to be sick. The little old man in front of me holds the pole with his hanky, taking intermittent puffs on his blue inhaler. Perhaps he too is wondering whether MRSA is airborne on this train, travelling in yawn form. This journey is taking forever..... Argh... Help!
*Screech* The train pulls to a halt: Oxford Circus, my stop. Just as well. I think, I've had enough of these rude people and this dirty journey. I am batted off the train by the throngs of travellers changing at or leaving the station. I'm never travelling during rush hour again!!!
Until tomorrow....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Oh My Gosh........Sam, I thought it was just me that people are out for, whilst travelling on the under ground, but I go with your theory, only good people are put up on!!!!!.
Luv ya to the max......Thanks a again for considering me one of your friends, I am blessed to have someone like you in my life...xxxx
LOLOL
Did that really happen?
I know what you mean though. I HATE the London tubes.
Great article Sam as per usual.
i am sure i was on the northern line with old smelly yesterday morning!
Brilliant!
It is so true.
I hate rush hour and people are so rude.
Let's hope that one day, manners travels on our train.
David
Post a Comment